Written by Dawn Rutan
Her heart was pounding as she looked at the crowd in front of her. What she was about to do was by far the most terrifying thing she’d ever done. Harder than twelve years of calling out “Unclean!” as people walked by. Harder than twelve years of explaining her problem to doctors just to have them shake their head instead of providing a cure. Harder than twelve years of being banned from the Temple and isolated from her family. Her shame was a heavy burden, but her desperation was greater. She hid her face and slipped into the crowd, hoping that no one would recognize her and point her out. “If I can just touch the Healer’s garment…” Desperation drove her forward when fear tried to hold her back. Her hand slipped between two men and brushed the fringe of His cloak. She knew immediately it had worked and she quickly started to move away, but the Healer had noticed. He stopped and looked around, asking who had touched Him. His eyes met hers and she fell at His feet as the shame of twelve years crushed her to the ground. She started babbling an explanation, but she wasn’t even sure if the words were coming out. All she could hear was the pounding of her heart. “Daughter…” What did He say? “My daughter, lift up your head. Look at Me.” He reached down and grasped her hands, the first person to touch her in twelve years. As He drew her to her feet, she looked into His eyes and saw no condemnation, only love. Twelve years of shame and fear, pain and weakness, all fell away in that moment. “Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace and be healed of your disease.”
The faith of this unnamed woman not only brought her healing, it also got her mentioned in three of the gospels. A woman who had been unclean and unseen caught the attention of the whole crowd. It must have been a memorable experience if Matthew, Mark and Luke all felt the need to share her story. Of all the names Jesus could have called her, He chose to call her Daughter, the same name used of Jairus’s child whose healing she was interrupting. This woman was no less important than the daughter of a synagogue ruler. Both of them received new life that day.
Although none of us really understand what it would be like to be unclean and outcast under the Jewish law, we all can think of moments of shame when all we wanted to do was disappear. Jesus could have let the woman be healed quietly and covertly and no one else needed to know what had just happened. He called her out, not just to reveal that she was physically healed, but to bring wholeness out of her brokenness, grace out of her shame, and strength out of her weakness. Her moment of deepest shame became a moment of splendor. God’s glory was revealed in a life that was not just healed but transformed.
God wants to do that for each of us. When we would settle for relief from pain and disease, He has a much greater plan of redemption. When we would like to simply enjoy a measure of healing, He wants to use our stories for His glory. He can take all our shame and weakness and brokenness and bring comfort, encouragement, and faith to many others, but only if we are willing to be seen. He can redeem our shame for His splendor. All we have to do is take those fearful, trembling steps forward to fall at His feet.
As much as I want to be used by God, I confess that shame is a powerful demotivator. It seems far easier to stay hidden and hurting than to take those little steps of faith toward wholeness. It seems easier to find ways to cope with the hardships of life than to let God uncover them for all the world to see and to judge. But His grace is greater than all our sin, shame, and suffering. Do I believe that today? Do you? Will we choose to be trust the One who knows all our secrets and risk being seen?
“Oh, guard my soul, and deliver me! Let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in You” (Psalm 25:20 ESV).
© 2016 Dawn Rutan. The views stated may or may not reflect the beliefs of the pastor or leadership of Dulin’s Grove Church.
