In the Sermon on the Mount we’ve been reading Jesus’ kingdom portrait. Christians are to have a distinct flavor and appearance in this world. “You are the salt of the earth… You are the light of the world” (Matt. 5:13, 14). If we were to be just like everyone else, there would be no reason for the Church to exist. Instead, we should portray God’s standards through humble holiness, with evident faith, good works, and purity. The call the “be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect” is a reminder that we cannot do this on our own. We need a Savior.

God’s Standard

“It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery” (vv. 31-32).

As Jesus did with anger and lust, He now expands the “rule of law” to say that divorce is far more serious than the Jews thought. Jesus quotes from Deuteronomy 24:1, where the law permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce, but He adds that those who divorce and marry someone else are actually committing adultery.

Although He uses the same setup that He did for anger and lust, “You have heard it said… but I say,” divorce is somewhat different in at least three ways:

1) Divorce is a premeditated process. Someone can get angry or lust after a person in an instant, but divorce is a process of trying to live together for a time and eventually deciding it isn’t going to work.

2) Divorce is public record. One can experience anger, insult a brother, or lust after a woman without it ever leaving their mind, but everyone in the community knows when a couple has divorced.

3) Divorce is far more painful for all involved. Momentary anger or insults can be forgotten after a time. Lustful thoughts may not have a direct impact on anyone else. But divorce impacts at least two people, and usually more if there are children or extended family around.  

Because of the far-reaching impact of divorce, any teaching or preaching must be done carefully, with respect for God’s Word and for the people in any church who have dealt with divorce in their families.

God’s Design

We have to go back to the beginning of marriage in Genesis 2:18-25. After man is created, God says “It is not good that the man should be alone” (v. 18). He then proceeds to create woman from the rib of the man. Scripture then proclaims, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (v. 24). God’s design and institution of marriage is for real oneness—unity of thought and purpose. Although they don’t literally become one flesh in the sense of sharing a body, they are united in a far deeper and more permanent way than simply sharing a house, spending time together, or even bearing children.

In Deuteronomy 24:1-4, divorce was permitted but not really condoned. A certificate of divorce does not reflect God’s reality. In Malachi 2:13-16, God uses the analogy of divorce for man’s unfaithfulness to Him. The NIV translation says in verse 16, “ ‘I hate divorce,’ says that Lord God of Israel, ‘and I hate man’s covering himself with violence…’” Divorce is on par with violence for the devastation it causes.

In the New Testament, the Apostle Paul writes about marriage in Ephesians 5:22-33, where he makes it clear that marriage is a symbol of Christ’s relationship with the Church (v. 32). The union of marriage reflects the gospel. Radical, self-sacrificial love is required of both individuals. Ideally, marriage is to be a lifelong, covenant relationship, fusing two people together. Unfortunately real life is broken and painful, and divorce is sometimes a necessary reality.

While Jesus lived on earth, He was questioned about divorce in Matthew 19:3-12. The Pharisees were trying to test Him, but they revealed their own ignorance in the process. Jesus points them first to Genesis 2, and indicates that it is God who joins two people together in marriage. “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”  The Pharisees bring up Deuteronomy 24, but they phrase it “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce?” Jesus corrects them to say that it was not commanded but permitted because of humanity’s hardness of heart. The certificate of divorce was intended to limit the scope of the damage in the community caused by divorce, by limiting the options for divorce and remarriage. The disciples heard what Jesus said and responded in essence, “Maybe we better not get married then!” Jesus doesn’t soften His language or give them any loopholes such as living together without marrying. Instead, He agrees that it is better not to marry, because God takes marriage very seriously. The Apostle Paul share the same perspective in 1 Corinthians 7 when he portrays singleness as the better option.

The Exception

Returning to our passage in Matthew 5, Jesus does say, “except on the ground of sexual immorality.” The language here is not referring solely to adultery, but to any sexual activity outside of monogamous, heterosexual marriage. This could get into some debates over things like pornography addiction, emotional abuse, etc. Each person and each situation is different, but we should start with general principles:

1) Singles- stay single if you can. It will save you from many anxieties (1 Cor. 7:32-34).

2) Married people- don’t get a divorce if at all possible. Seek help to reconcile and grow together.

3) Divorced people- don’t get remarried or divorce again. This only compounds the issues.

Remember, whether we are single, married, or divorced, we all fall short of God’s standard of perfection (Rom. 3:23). God never condones, excuses, or ignores sin, and anyone who does not come to Jesus Christ in confession and repentance are destined for eternal condemnation. But, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).

For Discussion

Read through the Scriptures mentioned and see what else you can glean from them: Matthew 5:31-32; Genesis 2:18-25; Deuteronomy 24:1-4; Malachi 2:13-16; Ephesians 5:22-33; Matthew 19:3-12; 1 Corinthians 7.