Pursuit of Happiness

The U.S. founding fathers declared that mankind is endowed with the rights to “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” Our culture in recent years has taken that last part to an extreme—declaring that happiness is all that matters and there should be nothing that stands in its way. Unfortunately, that has had a negative impact on the church as well. There is a perception among unbelievers that “If your beliefs don’t make you 100% happy, then they can’t be that good.” That then carries over to believers thinking “If I’m not happy all the time then there must be something wrong with my faith,” or “I’ve got to fake it till I make it.”

I see some problems with these ideas. One problem is that it assumes this life is all that matters. As the Apostle Paul wrote, “If the dead are not raised, ‘Let us eat and drink, for tomorrow we die’” (1 Cor. 15:32b). But if in fact the dead are raised, we need to take the long view. We can accept some limitations and difficulties today if we know that there is something far better that will last for all eternity. Just as the dieter passes up some foods, knowing that the health of their body depends on it, so we too can pass up certain temporal pleasures because we know “this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison” (2 Cor. 417).

Another problem with putting happiness on a pedestal is that it discounts the wide variety of personalities and experiences that make up humanity. There’s a vast spectrum of temperaments Whether you like Myers-Briggs or DISC or Enneagram or something else, I think most of us can agree that we have different traits and it is foolish to expect everyone to respond the same way to their circumstances. And life presents each of us with different experiences that shape us. Someone who has grown up in an abusive household is not going to approach life the same as a “favored son” will. Some people may be both more melancholy by nature and also have had to deal with very painful experiences. So, to imply that they need to put on a happy face because their Christian witness depends on it actually creates more shame than benefit.

Some might ask “How then do they make their faith known if they aren’t visibly happy all the time?” I have seen plenty of people who have exhibited an enduring faith in God in the midst of trying circumstances. They aren’t happy and joking all the time, but it is clear that they are undergirded by a strength beyond their own ability. Some people might have every reason to give up on life, but they keep enduring because they have hope and faith in the eternal life in Christ. These are the kind of people I want to turn to when life is hard—people who can comfort others with the comfort they have received from God (2 Cor. 1:3-7)—and I believe they also attract unbelievers who are struggling with life in a broken and fallen world in a way that the “happy and you know it” people don’t. As I heard Matthew Spandler-Davison say in a TGC podcast, “I needed to serve from a place of brokenness, not from a pretense of wholeness… Church membership is burden sharing… I needed to be a part of a burden sharing and burden carrying community of believers.”

This is a personal challenge for me, because I live with clinical depression. I get frustrated with comments from those who imply that someone’s (my) faith is weak because they’re not “rejoicing always.” On the Christian radio station last week, they were talking about studies that show that on average kids laugh 300 times per day while adults laugh only 15. Even as a child I don’t think I averaged 15 laughs per day because I lived in an almost constant state of anxiety. I don’t understand people who live at the opposite end of the spectrum. I’m not endorsing a grumpy and complaining attitude, but I’m saying that we all need to bear witness to the God who is with us in the midst of every type of circumstance. He should be as real to us in trials as He is in times of great blessings.

There is a reason for the diversity of the Body of Christ. Some people are better at mourning with those who mourn, while others are better at rejoicing with those who rejoice. We need each other. In worship we (should) use a variety of songs and Scriptures from week to week, because not every member is in the same place mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. On the weeks I don’t feel like singing praise songs, I know that others delight to and I need to hear them do so, and vice versa.

In Luke’s version of the Beatitudes, he records Jesus as saying, “Blessed are you who are hungry now, for you shall be satisfied. Blessed are you who weep now, for you shall laugh… Woe to you who are full now, for you shall be hungry. Woe to you who laugh now, for you shall mourn and weep” (Luke 6: 21, 25). We could find ourselves on dangerous ground if we value an emotional experience over faith in Christ alone. In the last day, many will discover that they’ve sought worldly pleasures and lost out on eternal joy. Let’s make sure our focus is on the right Person.

“For everything there is a season… a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance” (Eccl. 3:1, 4).

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For more on this topic, listen to Pastor Matt’s sermon on Matthew 5:4 “Blessed Are Those Who Mourn.”

© 2021 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV. Image copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.