My son, be attentive to my wisdom; incline your ear to my understanding.
– Proverbs 5:1
In the sixth chapter of the book Finally Free, we’ll learn how to keep “our thoughts moving forward” (p. 92). More specifically, we’ll see how we can move our thoughts away from pornography toward the delights of a God-given spouse or God-given singleness.
Proverbs five teaches that sexual immorality leads to bitterness, loss, illness and death. A wise person, however, doesn’t just try to avoid it. The wise person pursues God’s good gifts in either a spouse or “Godward” singleness.
God’s Gifts of Marriage and Singleness
With all that in mind, if you’re married:
- Rejoice in the spouse of your youth.
“Even if you have a difficult or distant marriage, you should be able to think of some things that make you happy about your [spouse]” (p. 100). - Pour energy into your relationship.
“Pay attention to your [spouse] and make a list of three small things you can do to serve [them] every day” (p. 101). - Direct your sexual energies toward your spouse.
“Once you do this … sex should become a regular and thrilling part of your marriage” (p. 101).
And if you’re single:
- Consider pursuing marriage.
“The apostle Paul tells single people that if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, ‘for it is better to marry than to burn with passion’” (p. 102). - Pour your energies directly into your relationship with Christ.
“You can devote all your strength to the expansion of Christ’s kingdom as you await his marriage supper (Revelation 19:6-9)” (p. 103).
Don’t Just Avoid It … Pursue Something Else
I concur with Lambert that it is vital to not only struggle against the temptation of porn, but also to pursue the corresponding good. God trains us not only to put off the old self, but also to put on the new self (Ephesians 4, 5; Colossians 2, 3). For instance, “Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor” (Ephesians 4:25). Find practical ways to pursue the good activities that can replace the bad activities associated with pornography, and you’ll be more likely to gain traction in your fight.
As you think about what you can “put off” and “put on,” here are some examples:
- Put off pride and put on humility.
I’ve often found pride lurking behind lust. It’s usually what keeps people from seeking help, because help seems too embarrassing. - Put off secrecy and put on openness.
- Put off abuse and put on care.
Viewers contribute to the abuse of those being objectified for money by pornographers. Turn from that evil and find a way to care for someone instead. - Put off selfishness and put on love.
- Put off laziness and put on industriousness.
Often temptation comes the same way it did to King David (2 Samuel 11:1-2) – through our laziness and lack of engagement in meaningful endeavors.
May God’s transforming grace equip you to live the new life that is yours in Christ! If you need help in your battle against porn, please feel free to contact me: matthewbroadway@gmail.com or 704-545-5893.
And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.
– Colossians 3:14
