Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.
– Proverbs 28:13
The fifth chapter of Heath Lambert’s Finally Free is about using confession to fight pornography. Confession is a key element in battling this sin. But why is it important?
- “First, it is important to confess sin because the Bible tells us that confession is the way we receive the promise of God’s mercy and blessing.” (p. 76)
- “One kind of mercy that comes with confession is the blessing of openness and restoration in relationship.” (p. 77)
- “You will find God’s grace to change only when you humbly confess your sin – not just to God, but to all those you have wronged, whether they know it or not.” (p. 78)
Guidelines for Using Confession
So how are you supposed to use confession in fighting pornography? Lambert gives six guidelines that might help you:
- Confess your sin to all who have be touched by it.
“[T]he circle of your confession should be as broad as the circle of your sin.” (p. 79) - Do not confess your sin to those who are not touched by your sin.
“Be sure the people to whom you confess your sins are within the circle of those offended by your sin.” (p. 81) - Confess your sin with a willingness to accept the consequences of your sin.
“When you confess your sin, you need to expect that those you’ve wronged are likely to be upset, angry, and deeply hurt by your sin.” (p. 82) - Consider confessing your sin with a third party who can help with the response.
“When you confess a serious and secret sin like pornography to someone you love, you will deal with countless variables. Having a trusted person there helps you handle those variables.” (p. 83) - Confess your sin thoroughly, but not necessarily exhaustively.
“Talk with your accountability partner about how to confess the details as thoroughly as possible while knowing that the person hearing your confession absolutely does not need to know exhaustive details about what you have looked at.” (p. 85) - Confess your sin without making any excuses for your sin.
“When you sin, it is always your fault, and you should never say or do anything to make it sound like the fault lies elsewhere.” (p. 86)
The Truth About Confession
Confession is scary. So Lambert gives two truths to help you overcome your fears. “First, you must avoid living in fear and instead trust in God’s Word” (p. 86). “Second, if you are to fight your fears and know the mercy of confession, you will find you can’t do it yourself” (p. 87). That being said, you’ll need God’s grace through Jesus Christ and the support of Christian brothers and sisters within the church.
May God bless you with conviction of sin and the courage to confess to those you’ve sinned against. It’s hard, but through it you can experience the freedom of transparency and honesty in relationship with your loved ones.
If I can be of any service to you in your battle against pornography, please contact me: matthewbroadway@gmail.com or 704-545-5893.
If we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.
– 1 John 1:7
