Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.
– Galatians 6:1
As you struggle against pornography, remember that the people around you can be an effective weapon. We can seek each other’s help in this fight. And the best way to do this is through accountability relationships. That’s what chapter three of Heath Lambert’s Finally Free is all about.
Effective Accountability
What is an accountability relationship? It’s a group of two or three people who intentionally open up to one another about their sin in order to “walk in the light” (1 John 1:7). With this in mind, Lambert writes:
- Effective accountability doesn’t rely exclusively on accountability.
“Limiting your weapons unnecessarily limits victory” (p. 48). - Effective accountability is involved early rather than late.
“Many accountability groups function as an opportunity for a delayed confession of sin” (p. 49). - Effective accountability involves someone with maturity.
“You must be accountable to someone who has a track record of victory in sexual purity” (p. 50). - Effective accountability involves someone with authority.
“If you have never confessed your sin to one of the spiritual authorities in your church, you are cutting yourself off from a crucial source of spiritual help” (p. 52). - Effective accountability should avoid explicit details.
“The wisest approach is to describe particular temptations in general terms” (p. 53). - Effective accountability places the responsibility of confession on the person with the problem.
“It’s not the job of spiritual mentors to go on a fishing expedition to reel in a confession from those they are trying to help” (p. 54). - Effective accountability must actual hold people accountable.
“If you want others to hold you accountable, you should seek out people who will really do it” (p. 55).
Conclusion
Want help finding someone to hold you accountable in your fight against pornography? If so, contact me anytime: matthewbroadway@gmail.com or 704-545-5893.
To conclude, I’ll leave you with some encouragement from Lambert:
It takes more than guts to pursue it; it takes grace. Perhaps you have read this and are worried about entering this kind of relationship. If you are, confess to God that you’re tempted to hide, seek the forgiving grace of Jesus, and then fight in prayer for the transforming grace to pursue real accountability. God knows your heart. He knows what you need, and he is eager to help you when you ask in faith. (p. 56)
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Next week, we’ll look at Chapter 4: Using Radical Measures to Fight Pornography.
