Written by Dawn Rutan
This week I read a couple articles that got me thinking about how we perceive ourselves and others. From the minute we’re born (or even before), we are compared to a standard and ranked according to percentiles in height, weight, and who knows what else. Will he be tall like his dad, or short like mom?
Starting preschool or school brings more comparisons, and not just in terms of achievements and tests. Little kids observe one another to find out what they have in common. Does she like to play with horses or read books? Commonalities serve as a basis for friendship, but they also create segregation. Where there is a lack of connection, a child, adolescent, or adult will often jump to one of two conclusions: there’s something wrong with me, or there’s something wrong with you.
I thought about some of the percentiles I fall into— 2% here, 10% there, 60% in that area. Some of those are good, some not so good. Some I would change if I could. It’s easy to look around and envy those who are different, or to feel like an anomaly because I am in the minority in many categories. But God called me to this life, not to that one. He allowed every gene, every circumstance, every heartache, and every opportunity that made me who I am today. But I don’t get a reprieve from the Great Commission just because I’m an introvert. I also don’t get to overlook people just because they aren’t like me.
Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians, “Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him and to which God has called him” (7:17 ESV). “But take care that this right of yours does not somehow become a stumbling block to the weak” (8:9). It is comfortable to hang around with people who are just like us, but it can also be detrimental to the Body of Christ. If we focus on external similarities, we may miss the opportunity to find that we are brothers and sisters at heart. The unity that comes from Christ should far outweigh any unity that comes from biology or experience.
Our culture makes it hard to really know people. We are constantly told that we need to act a certain way, wear the right clothes, and never let anyone see our weaknesses. That gives us the appearance of external uniformity, but prevents the true unity that grows out of humility and authenticity. The church is not immune to this type of hypocrisy. Most people dress up for church (to varying degrees), act differently, and maybe clean up their language around church people. It can be a challenge to let others see behind the façade, or to remember that others may not be what they seem either. I am often reminded that authentic community is started by the example of one person taking a risk. Depth of relationships can’t come about any other way.
Take a risk; I dare you!
“When they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding” (2 Corinthians 10:12b).
© 2016 Dawn Rutan. The views stated may or may not reflect the beliefs of the pastor or leadership of Dulin’s Grove Church.
