Written by Dawn Rutan
“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer” (Psalm 19:14 ESV). I have to confess that this can be a challenging verse for me. Not so much the first part, because I generally keep my mouth shut, but the meditation of my heart can be problematic. I was reading a book recently that mentioned the loss of self-control that occurs in some Alzheimer’s patients, and they start saying whatever comes to mind. It was kind of a wake-up call since I could easily be in that same boat in the future. And if I want my words then to reflect a pure heart, I better work on cleaning up my thoughts now.
It’s a tricky area. Everyone has thoughts that pop up seemingly out of nowhere. We may not be able to stop that from happening, but we can certainly decide whether or not we are going to dwell on them. It’s easy to rationalize that thoughts don’t really matter because they aren’t hurting anyone. But Jesus said that lustful thoughts are as sinful as lustful acts, and angry thoughts are as sinful as murder (Matthew 5:21-30). Philippians 4:8 tells us the kind of things we should think about: true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, praiseworthy. But if you’re like me the first thought is: “There aren’t that many good things to think about in this world!” Then the second thought is: “I have to figure out what to do about this problem I’m facing.”
I think there are ways to mull over a problem prayerfully, seeking God’s wisdom, but I also know how quickly such thoughts can degenerate into a rehearsal of everything that has gone wrong and anxiety about what else could go wrong. It requires a vigilance and consciousness of the direction your mind is heading.
This past weekend at our regional women’s retreat, I was thinking about this as I revisited Psalm 139. I realized that although I may not physically “make my bed in Sheol” or “dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,” my mind can still take me places that are better left unvisited. But even there, God is with me and desires to lead me out. I rewrote Psalm 139 for myself from that perspective, though I can’t share it publicly because it is too personal.
Though I haven’t yet mastered “taking every thought captive” when my mind is wandering down the wrong paths, I do know that it requires ongoing prayer. The first part of the prayer is “Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!” (Psalm 139:23-24). Another key piece is found in verse 17, “How precious to me are Your thoughts, O God!” I pray that God will make that true more and more frequently as time goes by. I want to be captivated by God’s thoughts and God’s Word, but sometimes I’m just not. Sometimes I want distraction and an escape from reality. I don’t want to have to work on self-control, and it would be nice if our brains came with a remote control that could delete channels from the menu. But that’s not how God made us. He made us to learn and grow one choice at a time. As Candy Hall mentioned at our retreat, He cares about each step we take and He celebrates each milestone of spiritual growth. I may not be where I want to be or where I think I should be, but I am moving in the right direction by His grace.
“The Lord knows the thoughts of man, that they are but a breath. Blessed is the man whom You discipline, O Lord, and whom You teach out of Your law” (Psalm 94:11-12).
© 2015 by Dawn Rutan. The views stated may or may not reflect the beliefs of the pastor or leadership of Dulin’s Grove Church.
