Written by Dawn Rutan
The month of May is our denominational prayer month. Besides the prayer blogs we’ve posted, we also hosted a prayer summit and prayed together as led by some nationally known speakers on prayer. At the same time, I’ve been reading some interesting books, one of which is Praying for Your Elephant, by Adam Stadtmiller. I’m not sure I agree with everything in the book since I haven’t finished it yet, but it has challenged me to begin praying more boldly and specifically.
Then last week came and I was surprised to learn that a house I’d been interested in was going to be sold and I had first choice. I was both excited and terrified by the possibility. My beginning prayer was, “If this is Your will, make the asking price within my desired range.” It was a few days later when I learned that God had answered that prayer, but during that few days God did something I didn’t expect. He revealed to me my heart’s desire. As I posted last week, I found that I had some priorities that outweighed my desire to own a home. I realized that the price of the house didn’t really matter anymore. I’m more convinced than ever that prayer changes us, not God. I got what I thought was the elephant I was asking for, but God also gave me something far better—an opportunity to see Him at work.
As the week drew to a close, I realized that it had been an opportunity to practice Romans 12:2 (ESV): “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” I’d started the week feeling somewhat pressured to conform to the world’s standards and the American dream. It took a few days for me to understand why that made me uncomfortable. Although I hadn’t specifically intended to search the Scriptures to see what they said about owing money or owning property, God brought to my mind some particular verses and themes that I had read in the past, and that helped me to know that His will for me was to do something kind of countercultural. At the same time, I knew that God’s love would not change regardless of what I chose, but that my joy would be made complete by abiding in Him and trusting in His provision for me. I didn’t need to worry about the next 30 years, but just be faithful to Him this week.
I also found that God had followed through on the promise of Proverbs 3:5-6: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths.” It would have been easy to trust my understanding and the world’s wisdom that investing in property often (but not always) pays off. But trusting God and seeking His guidance led to a very different path than I started out on. My path may not look like anyone else’s and it may not make sense to others, but His way is a straight path toward His destination.
“Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust in Him, and He will act” (Psalm 37:4-5). Although I’ve long known that this Scripture doesn’t mean God will always give me what I think I want, it was reiterated for me through this process. My superficial desire was peeled back to reveal the true desires of my heart. I found my delight was truly in God and not in the things of this world. I had committed my way to Him and trusted Him, and He acted by showing me more of Himself.
We can miss so much when we start seeking answers to prayer rather than seeking God. I don’t know if I would have prayed differently if I had known how everything would turn out. I don’t believe my original request was wrong, but it was colored by a lot of things that needed to be stripped away: cultural impressions, the influence of certain people, planning for the future, etc. It’s not necessarily wrong to pray for elephants, but you might discover that what you really want is the Lion of the tribe of Judah.
It’s funny—the possibility of buying a house made me suddenly feel like a grown-up, but God was in the process of making me grow in faith. Spiritual maturity is so much more important, and yet there are so many Christians who are willing to settle for the superficial answers and a lukewarm faith. I don’t want to settle. I want to glorify God with every decision, trusting the One who knows best, and delighting in Him.
“How precious to me are Your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! …Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (Psalm 139:17, 23-24).
