Written by Dawn Rutan
Have you thought much about the Disney movie of Cinderella? It’s a nice story of the poor oppressed girl who is saved from a life of slavery to marry the Prince. There are probably several theological parallels that can be drawn from the story. But there’s one I hadn’t thought about till I came across this quote from Soren Kierkegaard as quoted in When People Are Big and God Is Small, by Edward Welch:
“Do you now know that there comes a midnight hour when everyone has thrown off his mask? Do you believe that life will always let itself be mocked? Do you think you can slip away a little before midnight to avoid this? Or are you not terrified by it? I have seen men in real life who so long deceived others that at last their true nature could not reveal itself…” (32-33)
Aside from the fact that it would shorten the story, why did Cinderella run away from the ball just as the clock was striking midnight? It seemed pretty evident that the Prince was in love with her since he danced with her all night and ignored the other girls. Yet Cinderella was terrified that he would see her as the enslaved, unwanted stepchild that was unworthy of his love. Of course, she eventually finds out that he doesn’t care about all that, though it’s not clear from the story whether he was judging her solely on her appearance.
Shame will make us do all kinds of dumb things—run away from people who love us, dress to play a part, avoid any potentially awkward situations, hold our tongue when we should speak up, put other people down to make ourselves look better, and so on. We all try to shape others’ perceptions of us to some degree.
I started writing this post last week, but thought about it again on Sunday during the sermon on Jesus cleansing the leper, as I realized that leprosy became an identity for the victim. He wasn’t just sick, he was “unclean.” And though the passage in Mark 1:40-45 doesn’t specifically say so, I believe that when Jesus cleansed him, all of the physical manifestations of the disease were also removed. Why? Because his former appearance was intimately tied to the shameful identity of leper. If he were still missing fingers or features, people would always be aware and perhaps fearful of what he had been. And I believe that God is able to remove the stigma of shame. (Though I’ll admit that the scars of leprosy would also be a good witnessing tool. Interpret it however you like.)
Thankfully, leprosy is pretty uncommon now, but unfortunately shame is epidemic. We’d all like to have a prince come sweep us off our feet and take us to live in the palace, or touch us and heal every trace of disease, but for the time being we try to content ourselves with living in isolation, avoiding further pain. In many cases, the church has not helped to heal the shame. Believers are just as prone to label people as unbelievers are—“leper,” “HIV+,” “homosexual,” “adulterer,” “unwed mother,” “alcoholic,” “murderer,” “gossip,” “mentally ill,” etc. And when confronted with some hot-button topic, we can develop an “Us vs. Them” mentality. It’s as if we think that by talking only about categories we’ll never have to deal with individuals. And if we offend everyone in the process, we may be right!
But Jesus never did that. The only time He talked about categories was when He condemned the Pharisees for caring more about the law than about people. When Jesus fed the 5,000 He didn’t see a faceless crowd but a bunch of individuals in need. The disciples apparently saw only the crowd. When He cleansed the leper or healed the blind, He wasn’t just curing a disease but healing a person. Look at all the times the Gospels say that Jesus was moved with pity or compassion. I don’t believe you can truly be moved with compassion if you only see a crowd and not people, if you only see a label and not an individual, if you only see the “unclean” and not the man.
I would suggest that we need to have the eyes of Jesus. Wounds are healed, shame is dulled, people are saved, and lives are changed through the love of God as shown through individuals. I read an interview with the author of Get Real: Sharing Your Everyday Faith Every Day in byFaith magazine, who said the key to evangelism is not seeking someone to talk to, but rather finding someone to listen to. God doesn’t save groups, He saves individuals. Scripture doesn’t tell us “Love everyone,” it says “Love one another.” You have to really see the other one before you can love them.
“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God” (1 John 4:7 ESV).
