This is the third of four posts recapping a teaching series on practical aspects of the Christian life. These lessons were taught first in Big Gathering sessions and then as Family Camp seminars. This post is part two about emotions. You can read Work and Emotions Part One by clicking them. The final post, Family, is on the way soon.
How Are Christians to Deal with Problematic Emotions?
First, based on what we say in the last post, Christians must take their emotions seriously. If you see smoke in your house, you don’t wave it away and continue with your business. Anger, depression, anxiety and the like are like smoke, indicating that there is a fire somewhere in your heart or in your life that must be addressed.
Looks for Their Roots
Emotions are rarely the problems. Rather, they are the symptoms. They are the blossoms, not the roots. If you want to do away with an aggressive weed, you must uproot it, not merely trim it back so that it is manageable. So Christians are not to merely cope with emotional distress. They are to live victoriously in light of the fact that all things have been conquered in Jesus Christ (Romans 8).
What follows is a short list of common roots that I have found in my admittedly short counseling experience. Perhaps you can add some more in the comments section. My hope is that the following will give you good questions to ask as you attempt to locate the roots of your problematic emotions.
Also, please keep in mind that this is meant to be a simple tool to get you moving, not a comprehensive diagnostic for emotional problems.
General Spiritual Issues
This is the first and foremost question to ask: Are you a Christian? Have you put your full trust in Jesus for forgiveness of your sins and adoption into the Kingdom of God? Are you following him as your Lord? If so, are you nourished in the word (Psalm 1)? Are you walking in the Spirit, growing in his fruit (Galatians 5)? Are you in fellowship with other believers, experiencing the support and shared love of the church?
Thinking and Beliefs
Paul says that we are transformed by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:1-2). What are you putting into your mind with your reading, listening and watching (Matthew 6:23)? Is it compatible with Philippians 4:8? Is your thinking shaped by scripture or the world?
What are your beliefs? For example, David Powlison helpfully points out that many who are struggling with anxiety actually believe in the anti-Psalm 23.
I’m on my own.
No one looks out for me or protects me.
I experience a continual sense of need. Nothing’s quite right.
I’m always restless. I’m easily frustrated and often disappointed.
It’s a jungle — I feel overwhelmed. It’s a desert — I’m thirsty.
My soul feels broken, twisted, and stuck. I can’t fix myself.
I stumble down some dark paths.
Still, I insist: I want to do what I want, when I want, how I want.
But life’s confusing. Why don’t things ever really work out?
I’m haunted by emptiness and futility — shadows of death.
I fear the big hurt and final loss.
Death is waiting for me at the end of every road,
but I’d rather not think about that.
I spend my life protecting myself. Bad things can happen.
I find no lasting comfort.
I’m alone … facing everything that could hurt me.
Are my friends really friends?
Other people use me for their own ends.
I can’t really trust anyone. No one has my back.
No one is really for me — except me.
And I’m so much all about ME, sometimes it’s sickening.
I belong to no one except myself.
My cup is never quite full enough. I’m left empty.
Disappointment follows me all the days of my life.
Will I just be obliterated into nothingness?
Will I be alone forever, homeless, free-falling into void?
Sartre said, “Hell is other people.”
I have to add, “Hell is also myself.”
It’s a living death,
and then I die.
Are you believing the gospel and God’s promises? Of do your emotions indicate that you do not believe?
Sin and Consequences
Sometimes, our emotional distress is a result of our own sin and the painful consequences thereof. Are you cut off from a thriving relationship with God because of un-confessed sin (Psalm 38)? Are you cut off from other people because you have yet to confess to them and ask for their forgiveness (1 John 1:1-10)? Has someone sinned against you that you need to forgive? Is bitterness a factor in your emotional struggle (Ephesians 4:31-32)?
Spiritual Forces
Ephesians 6 teaches that we have a very real spiritual enemy against whom we must arm ourselves. Here I’ll repost something I wrote a while back (this is heavily influences by Mark Driscoll’s teaching on the topic):
Satan is real and active (1 Peter 5:8); but if we remain educated about his schemes, he won’t gain the upper hand in our lives (2 Corinthians 2:11). He and his servants work through the extraordinary demonic (things like torment, physical illness, false miracles, etc.) and the ordinary demonic.
The ordinary demonic mainly takes the form of deception (John 8:44). Satan’s deception takes primarily two forms: temptation (1 Thessalonians 3:5) and accusation (Revelation 12:10).
The bottom line: it’s best not to think in black-and-white terms of demon possession vs. demon-free. Rather, think in terms of a continuum, with total freedom from demons on one side and total bondage to demons on the other. We all fall somewhere on this continuum. The more we believe his lies of temptation (“____ will bring you more pleasure than seeking God”) and accusation (“You are hopeless, worthless, and pathetic.”) the further we’re dragged down the continuum toward enslavement. The more we believe the truths of Scripture (there is nothing as satisfying as God; there is no condemnation for those who are in Jesus – only freedom and forgiveness, etc.) the further we’re pulled up the continuum toward freedom (2 Timothy 2:24-26).
Circumstances and Surroundings
Sometimes our emotional struggle is caused by acute circumstantial distress. Are you under abnormally intense pressure at work? Are you in the midst of some temporary displacement or isolation from people due to illness or moving? Does your living situation or work environment force you into the presence of difficult or even toxic people? Are there some circumstantial factors directly causing your emotional response that can be removed or changed?
Personality Traits
Some people are inherently melancholy, others are joyful. Some are inherently pessimistic, others optimistic. Some are inherently introverted, others extroverted. What inherent personality traits might be a root factor in your problematic emotions? How can you make adjustments to accommodate or augment your natural disposition?
Physical Health Issues
Are you eating healthily? Are you exercising? Are you sleeping? Do you have corrosive addictions? What physical health related practices are effecting your emotions?
A Warning about Introspection
We are designed to worship God and serve people (Matthew 22:34-39). We are not designed to look inward and become consumed with selfish introspection. Sometimes we need to sort our emotions out so we can move forward. But don’t spend too much time looking inward. Look upward and outward! In fact, sometimes, this is the answer to the emotional problem.
Sometimes the depressed person is simply being selfish and needs to worship and love someone else. Sometimes the angry person has grown too passionate about himself and unconcerned with the glory of God and the value of the people around him. Sometimes the anxious person needs to take his eyes off his circumstances and on to his good God and the people in his path.
Hope
Above all, in your emotional struggle, know that there is hope. You will not always feel this way if you are God’s child through Jesus Christ. Remember Revelation 21:4:
He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.
