The movie The Mission (1986) is a heartbreaking story of a Jesuit mission in Spain/Portugal during the Treaty of Madrid in 1750. Mercenaries kidnapped natives to sell to plantations. Rodrigo is one of the men involved in this practice. After killing his half-brother, he becomes depressed and a priest recommends a suitable penance. Rodrigo is then seen carrying his armor and sword in a bundle as he climbs a steep waterfall, accompanying the Jesuits as they return to the mission. Some of the priests think he has carried his burden far enough and one cuts the rope, allowing the bundle to fall back down. Rather than letting it go, Rodrigo goes back to get it and continues his arduous climb. It isn’t until he reaches the top of the waterfall and one of the natives cuts the rope that Rodrigo finally feels he has been forgiven of his multitude of sins.
Do we all function this way—holding onto our penitent attitude long after God has forgiven us? I find it hard to move on when I know I’ve sinned, even though I’ve confessed and believe that I am forgiven. It’s as though I feel I have to prove my worthiness and reprove myself. Francine Rivers illustrates the feeling in Redeeming Love (a retelling of the biblical story of Hosea and his prostitute-wife Gomer): “Forgiveness was a foreign word. Grace inconceivable. Angel wanted to make up for what she had done, and she sought to do it by labor. Mama had never been forgiven, not even after a thousand Hail Marys and Our Fathers. So how could Angel be forgiven by a single word?” (211).
How often do we confess and then pick our burden back up to carry awhile longer? It seems that grace is not only inconceivable but unacceptable. Philip Yancey refers to someone who proclaimed that Bill Clinton “doesn’t deserve the grace of God.” None of us deserve grace, or it wouldn’t be grace! The question is whether or not we will accept it even though we don’t deserve it.
Max Lucado also remarks on the story of Hosea in his book 3:16 The Numbers of Hope. “God will not let you go. He has handcuffed himself to you in love. And he owns the only key. You need not win his love. You already have it. And since you can’t win it, you can’t lose it. As evidence, consider exhibit A: the stubborn love of Hosea for Gomer… God uses this story, indeed orchestrated this drama, to illustrate his steadfast love for his fickle people” (36).
In stories like The Mission and Redeeming Love, we as observers want to step in and tell the characters to let go of their burdens and accept the love and forgiveness that is offered to them. Just think how much more God wants us to let go and receive His love and forgiveness! But we persist in our penance, remembering our sin, and carrying a burden God never meant for us to carry.
We no longer live under the Old Testament sacrificial system, waiting for set times to bring our sin offerings before God. We don’t even have to abide by the Roman Catholic tradition of confessing our sins before a priest and doing whatever penance he prescribes. Instead, we have free access to the Father through the Son. We have forgiveness that was purchased by His blood two millennia ago. We are free from carrying that burden whether we realize it or not. Several authors have used the illustration of a man who picked up a hitchhiker, but the hitchhiker would not take off his heavy backpack because he didn’t want to impose on the driver’s generosity. If Jesus is carrying the sin of all believers, why are we still trying to do our part and carry our own weight?
It seems pretty ridiculous when you think about it. But the feelings of guilt, shame, and unworthiness can quickly convince us we need to do more, do better, and become more deserving. Perhaps, like little children, we can learn how to be thankful instead. I doubt any parents expect their preschoolers to cook their own dinner, but they do like to hear a word of thanks now and then. And it’s even better if it is offered willingly and gratefully. In the words of the familiar chorus: Give thanks with a grateful heart.
