I’ll admit it—I hear voices. I have conversations in my head, sometimes with real people and sometimes imaginary. This week I was imagining sitting next to Brennan Manning on an airplane. That scenario is an impossibility since this messenger of Love passed away last month, which I just learned today. I was blessed to hear Brennan speak at Bethel College in 1993, and was moved by his description of a God who loves us unconditionally. In a few brief quotes from The Ragamuffin Gospel:
- “You may be insecure, inadequate, mistaken, or potbellied. Death, panic, depression, and disillusionment may be near you. But you are not just that. You are accepted. Never confuse your perception of yourself with the mystery that you really are accepted.” (25)
- “To believe deeply, as Jesus did, that God is present and at work in human life is to understand that I am a beloved child of this father and hence, free to trust… To trust Abba, both in prayer and life, is to stand in childlike openness before a mystery of gracious love and acceptance.” (74)
- “How difficult it is to be honest, to accept that I am unacceptable, to renounce self-justification, to give up the pretense that my prayers, spiritual insight, tithing, and successes in ministry have made me pleasing to God! No antecedent beauty enamors me in his eyes. I am lovable only because he loves me.” (83)
- “We should be astonished at the goodness of God, stunned that he should bother to call us by name, our mouths wide open at his love, bewildered that at this very moment we are standing on holy ground.” (102)
I could go on for pages with quotes. But to get back to my imaginary conversation with Brennan—after the introductions (“Hi, I’m Dawn. I’m a great sinner loved by a greater Savior.”), the question that comes to mind is, “How can we forget? How is it that we can encounter God and then forget about His grace?” I’m sure I’m not the only one and probably not even in the minority. Somehow we get sidetracked and forget that God loved us long before we did anything for Him. We start trying to earn the love that He has freely bestowed on us. As I was rereading The Ragamuffin Gospel today, I found Brennan’s response:
“At some point in each of our lives, we were deeply touched by a profound encounter with Jesus Christ… We were deeply moved for a few hours, days, or weeks, and eventually returned to the routine occupations of our daily existence… Slowly we got caught up in the demands of ministry or career and the distractions our busy world offers. We began to treat Jesus like the old friend from Brooklyn whom we dearly loved in years past but have gradually lost track of… It is possible we may never love anyone as much as we loved him, but even the memory has grown dim… Just as the failure to be attentive dissolves confidence and communion in a human relationship, so inattention to the Holy unravels the fabric of the divine relationship… We settle in and settle down to lives of comfortable piety and well-fed virtue. We grow complacent and lead practical lives. Our feeble attempts at prayer are filled with stilted phrases addressed to an impassive deity. Even times of worship become trivialized… The forgiveness of God is gratuitous liberation from guilt. Paradoxically, the conviction of personal sinfulness becomes the occasion of encounter with the merciful love of the redeeming God… In his brokenness, the repentant prodigal knew an intimacy with the father that his sinless, self-righteous brother would never know.” (185-188)
What I hear Brennan saying to me and to all of us is this—it doesn’t matter how you forgot, or how far away you wandered. What’s important is that when you do remember, you go running back to the arms of the Father. He has been watching and waiting for you, and He keeps sending you little reminders of His love until you do remember. We have this misguided belief that the Christian life is a constant upward spiral toward perfection, conveniently forgetting that even the disciples kept falling off the path even while they had God incarnate walking beside them! One thing I will often remember (when I’m not busy forgetting) is God’s voice speaking through Brennan saying, “I expect more failure from you than you expect from yourself.”
So in his own words, “On the last day when Jesus calls me by name, ‘Come, Brennan, blessed of my Father,’ it will not be because Abba is just, but because his name is mercy.”
Lord, thank You for blessing us with a ragamuffin to remind us of Your amazing love and grace!
