I’ve been realizing (again) the fact that God created us as social beings. We need people even when we think we don’t. We are made to live in fellowship with one another. The irony is that people are also our greatest source of pain and suffering. People sin against God; people sin against one another; people create cultures of sin. Our natural tendency is to avoid things that can cause us harm. So it’s not surprising that when we have been harmed by people we tend to avoid letting people get close to us. I know this is more common for some people and some circumstances than it is for others. Some of us are more prone to isolationism due to a host of factors.
Think of Hannah in 1 Samuel 1. She was despondent about her barrenness. Her husband basically told her to get over it. In the temple she poured out her heart to God. Then when Eli the priest found out her story, he blessed and encouraged her by joining in her petition to God. It apparently didn’t require a long counseling session, but a few words from someone who cared were enough to lift her spirits. In 1 Samuel 18 we find the story of David’s friendship with Jonathan. That relationship helped to sustain David through difficult times, including threats from Jonathan’s father. Centuries later in the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus was comforted by the presence of Peter, James and John in the ultimate sorrow of His impending death.
There are a few things I think we can learn from these Scriptures and many others. First and foremost, as we were reminded this Sunday from Ephesians 1, we are the Body of Christ. We can be His hands to serve, His arms to hug, His ears to listen, and His eyes to see those around us who need His care. Even though we may not be serving in a formal capacity in the church, we each have other circles of friends, family, and coworkers who need the touch of Christ through us. Whether we’re bringing a meal to a shut-in, listening to a friend who’s going through a tough time, or praying for a coworker, our task is just as important as the Sunday school teacher or board chairman. We shouldn’t discount our service just because it happens out of the public eye.
Secondly, we need to remember that people don’t want to share their pain or difficulties in a way that makes them vulnerable to more pain. Different settings are required for different people. Some may be okay with sharing openly in a Sunday school class, some may prefer a small group, but most people need those one-on-one relationships where they can safely be open and honest. That’s where the Body of Christ comes into play, with each person reaching out to someone else and building caring relationships. The Kingdom of God isn’t just a bunch of churches, but many individuals.
The third lesson is for those of us who are prone to isolation, and that is to seek out someone we can trust and work to build one relationship at a time. It doesn’t happen overnight, and there is risk inherent in any relationship. But the benefits can far outweigh the risks if we keep at it. When you’re hurting, it’s easy to become myopic and not even see the people around us who are willing and able to listen. It isn’t even necessary that someone has all the answers so long as they hear us and want to keep walking the road with us, and that’s what sharing the burden is all about. Even professional counselors don’t have all the answers, though some of them think they do.
I don’t have all the answers either, but I hope that my perspective can encourage those who are like me, and perhaps edify those who are different. The bottom line is that God made us so that we need each other. We can help one another, encourage one another, serve one another, teach one another, exhort one another, and love one another as we continue this adventure called life.
