The following thoughts are based on recent discussions at church, books I’ve read, as well as my personal experience. I don’t claim to be any kind of authority on the subject of discipleship, so I’ll just say these are my own opinions and should be run through the filter of Scripture for validation. These are in no particular order.
Small Group Discipleship
There seems to be a tendency in certain groups or authors to imply that discipleship is necessarily one-on-one. While there are instances where that is the case, I don’t think that is definitive. Jesus spent most of his time with a small group of twelve. Certainly He was closer to some than others, but there are few places in the Gospels where He speaks just to one person, and even then they appear to be single conversations, not ongoing relationships. The Apostle Paul may have spent more time with individuals such as Timothy, but most of his teaching letters are to groups of believers. So small group Bible studies, Sunday school classes, youth groups, and so on can certainly be settings for discipleship to take place.
This is encouraging to me when I start feeling like I’m not doing everything I should because I don’t currently have a one-on-one relationship in which I am intentionally discipling someone. As I participate in some groups there are still opportunities for discipleship to take place, and I don’t have to chastise myself for my perceived failures.
A Two-Way Street
From my own experiences I’ve learned that discipleship is not necessarily one-way either. As we love one another, encourage one another, and spur one another, that is often a reciprocal relationship. So as I interact with other believers, I don’t have to act like I’m the teacher and they are the student or vice versa. We can all learn from one another. I think perhaps these types of relationships are the most enjoyable—walking the road together and discussing what we see and what we can learn from it.
Since my job is in a Christian organization and my outside activities are lately all church related, I wonder how I’m supposed to make time to build relationships with non-believers for the purpose of discipling them. This takes some of the pressure off with the realization that the majority of discipleship takes place after conversion. And we all have different seasons in life when our community activities and relationships will change.
I signed up for a class in discipleship when I was in graduate school, and in the first session the instructor said, “By next class you each need to go out and find a non-believer and you’re going to disciple them this semester.” I immediately went to the registrar and dropped the class. That kind of pressure was way too much for that setting. Some instruction in discipleship was needed before laying that burden on us. (I’ve often wondered if others dropped the class as well.)
Relational
Some authors suggest, if not state outright, that discipleship needs to be a prescribed program of Bible study, reading books, and scheduled meetings. That idea really frustrates me. Outside of seminary, there are few times and places where you can follow a set curriculum and schedule.
My own experience in being discipled through college and graduate school was much more relaxed and almost entirely related to what was going on in my life at the time. It was all about a relationship with one another and with God. There were some times when we shared books, and we frequently discussed Scripture, but it was by no means a regimented plan. As I said earlier, it was walking through life together as friends, not as teacher instructing student.
God’s Work
Ultimately, spiritual growth is God’s work, not ours. Paul said, “I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the increase.” Paul and Apollos served to exhort, encourage, and edify many people, but the final result was the work of God. What a relief to know that it doesn’t rest on my shoulders! I’ll do what I can as God leads, but God is the one who will cause growth in my life and in the lives of those I interact with.
As I look back on some relationships, I see that the people have grown far beyond anything I ever imparted to them because they’ve gotten connected with other believers and God has done great things in their lives. But other relationships have stagnated and the people seem to have lost their original zeal for God. I don’t blame myself for that (at least not most of the time). I pray that I planted a seed that at some point will be watered and start growing again. Only God knows what is needed and when that should happen.
We’re Unique
I’ll just close by reaffirming that God has called us each to make disciples as we are going through life, but that process may look different for each of us, and it may look different in the various phases of our lives. It is unfair to try to fit any believer into a particular mold, because God has made us each unique. He works differently in and through each of us depending on the gifts He has given us and the path He has laid out for us. I’m encouraged by these thoughts and I hope they help someone else too.
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