This series of blog posts are modified from an article I wrote for the Witness about Biblical Fatherhood. You need to read the introductory post before reading this one.
To know the Son is to know the Father (John 8:19). To believe in the Son is to believe in the Father (John 12:44). To see the Son is to see the Father (John 12:45). To receive the Son is to receive the Father (John 13:20). To hate the Son is to hate the Father (John 15:23). They are one (John 10:30). But even though Jesus and the Father are one in the Trinity in a way human fathers cannot experience with their children, it is so prominent that it cannot be overlooked. A godly father seeks closeness with his children.
The more the line between dad’s life and kid’s life can be blurred, the better: playing with them, visiting their school, bringing them to work, etc. Do our children have any idea what we’re doing 40 +hours per week? Do we know what our kids are up to while we’re working? How can we include them in our world? For example, I have a fixer-upper house about 40 minutes from where we live. We’re trying to sell it, so I spend nearly every free Saturday there working. I’ve started taking Elias with me. We call it “Man Time” because while we’re working on the house, my wife and daughter are having “Girl Time”. As you might guess, I get less done; but the time together has been priceless. Every evening I ask him what his favorite part of the day was and on those Saturdays he always says, “Man Time!”
Of course, the younger the child, the more difficult this becomes. I tried to bring my son to work with me once when he was three. I set up a little desk for him by the window and stocked it with crayons and coloring pages. It went great for 30 seconds. Then I became an errand boy fetching toys and snacks for the boss behind his little desk. My daughter, however, does great coming to work with me. It is up to each father to evaluate the best way to mix lives with his children, based on their ages, personalities, etc. After all, how can we teach our children as Deuteronomy 6:4-9 commands if we are not sitting together in the house or office or deer stand, riding together in the car, at home together in the evenings, and seeing each other in the mornings?
Furthermore, unity between father and child requires a dad’s initiative to constantly root out sources of division in the relationship; such as bitterness, lies, secrets, and un-confessed sin. This is where a good bed-time ritual comes in handy as a chance to clear the slate before ending the day. Is there anything that has happened between you and your child than needs to be resolved? Do your kids know if you are pleased with them (John 8:29)? Are they upset about anything? Is something on your child’s mind?
