In light of the recent Chick-fil-A/homosexuality controversy, I felt compelled to include a mini-sermon at the beginning of Sunday’s worship gathering to help our folks think clearly about marriage and homosexuality. After the service it was apparent that there were some misunderstandings about what I meant. So here’s a more thorough explanation.
1. Don’t reduce marriage to just man + woman.
Marriage is inherently heterosexual. This is important and nonnegotiable. But don’t reduce marriage to mere heterosexuality.
Marriage is a profound and mysterious ordinance of God. It is the covenant between one man and one woman with God to love each other for life in a way that corresponds with and pictures Jesus’ relationship with the church (Ephesians 5).
The deepest meaning of marriage is its connection to Jesus and the church, not its strict heterosexuality. This doesn’t negate the importance of gender roles in marriage, it under-girds it and explains it.
The reason the complimentary roles of men and women in marriage are so important is because God designed the relationship to be a tiny replication of Jesus and the church for his glory and our good. All the differences between men and women play into this purpose, including their biological differences.
Let’s not make the crux of our understanding of marriage “God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.” If we reduce marriage to merely a man and a woman, we miss the rich logic of why it is this way, and the ‘why’ is what’s so beautiful about marriage in the first place.
2. Don’t throw stones.
The church is the pillar of truth in society and if we don’t hold it up, it will crumble (1 Timothy 3:15). This includes upholding the truth regarding marriage; but don’t mistake throwing rocks for upholding truth. The pharisees thought they were courageously upholding truth when they picked up rocks to kill an adulteress; but Jesus tought them otherwise (John 8). I mention this now because I’m concerned that while many were buying chicken sandwiches in support of Truett Cathy’s plain-spoken truth about marriage, others were buying stones to throw at those they deem more sinful.
Homosexuality is part of a long list of sins that are deteriorating the purpose of marriage along with fornication, pornography, spousal abuse, neglect, adultery, divorce, selfishness in general and others that will come to me later. Sin runs far deeper and wider than homosexuality. We’re all drowning in this sin sea together; and we all need Jesus to pull us out.
Be people who love God’s glory magnified in good marriages. Build your own marriage. Lovingly mentor others in their marriages. Speak truthfully and graciously about all things, including marriage. But be clear-minded about it and watch your heart.
3. Don’t get distracted.
If we mobilize all our resources to fight for heterosexual marriage, Satan has won. He doesn’t always tempt us with bad things, but good things that distract from best things.
Heterosexual marriage doesn’t save souls; Jesus does. Heterosexual marriage isn’t the source of life; Jesus is. Heterosexual marriage isn’t our great command; loving God and people is. Preserving heterosexual marriage isn’t our great commission; making disciples of Jesus Christ is. Homosexuals are not our enemies; the devil is (Ephesians 6:10-20).
We will charge the gates of hell, not primarily with political action, but with the gospel of Jesus Christ (1 Corinthians 1:18-25).
I don’t mean we should ignore the fact that our society is hurdling down the path of self-destruction via the dismantling of the family unit. I’m convinced that anthropologist Joseph Daniel Unwin’s findings were generally true: “Once a society departs from a social norm of absolute marital monogamy, social chaos ensues within three generations” (from his hard-to-find book, Sex and Culture).
But we can’t be tricked into thinking that marriage is the root of the matter. We fight weeds at the roots, not the blossoms; and the root of this problem is that we are all in desperate need of a Savior.
4. Don’t feel threatened.
Jesus said that he will build his church and the gates of hell will not prevail against it (Matthew 16:18). No onslaught of immorality in our culture will stop the spread of the kingdom. Be sober-minded about these things, but don’t despair. And above all, LOVE!
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Please contact me if you’d like to discuss these things further: matthewbroadway@gmail.com or 704-545-5893. You’re also invited to discuss in the comments section below this post.